Archive for October, 2007

Living Together before Marriage

Sunday, October 21st, 2007

Who doesn’t live together before they get married? I know one couple that did not live together first and they are divorced because they learned that they couldn’t stand being together so much! But is this a tradition that should resurface? There are definite pros and cons to each.

It has been widely studied that the divorce rate is much higher in couples that live together before marriage than couples that don’t. Why is this? Personally, I don’t know and neither does anyone else! There is something to be said about your new husband carrying you over the threshold into your new home together. It is the true beginning of a new life when you haven’t been doing it every day already.

But what about that one couple I know? They ended in divorce. Isn’t living together a good idea? You get the chance to learn even more about your future spouse while discovering if you are completely compatible. Maybe this is a pessimistic attitude, but not everyone can live on love alone. So, what happens if you get married, move in together and discover that your husband is a slob and expects a wife and a maid, or that he is addicted to late night porn on those pay channels? You would know all of this if you lived together first.

Every relationship is different and every couple is going to have a different experience together. That is what makes relationships so wonderful! It is about finding someone that you can be completely comfortable with and someone that you can love and live with for the rest of your life. Traditionally, the bride and groom were not allowed to live together prior to marriage. Some people still believe in this, especially those people that are also saving their virginity. But then must you also believe in “’til death do us part?” and stay in a marriage even if you discover that you are completely incompatible when it comes to living together?

What do you think? Are you already living with your fiancée? Are you planning on waiting until after the wedding to move in together? Why have you chosen this particular path? How do you feel about other couples that choose to live together or choose to wait? We want to know!

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The Open Bar vs. Cash Bar Debate

Sunday, October 7th, 2007

Everyone seems to have a very strong feeling one way or the other when it comes to the open bar versus the cash bar. The bride and groom can either pay for their guests’ drinks or have the guests pay for the drinks themselves.
Many people feel that it is wrong to invite people to a party and then expect them to pay for their own drinks. Others find it perfectly acceptable since the cost of drinks can become a huge burden for the couple to pull from their budget. So how does a couple decide between an open bar and a cash bar for their wedding?
There are the two extremes. The couple can offer a full open bar. The reception venue may add up the drinks as they are ordered or may set a specific price per person to be paid in advance. The other extreme is offering a cash only bar. Guests will need to pay for all of their own drinks regardless of what it is they are ordering. Another option is to offer an open bar during cocktail hour and dinner and a cash bar afterwards.
There is a compromise that the couple may find appealing. This is to offer a limited selection of drinks at no cost to the guest. This generally includes soft drinks, wine, and beer. If a guest wants hard liquor then they would pay for it themselves.
The debate between the cash bar and the open bar can often be divided by where the couple lives. In many places it is expected that there will be a cash bar while in other places a cash bar is highly frowned upon. It is up to the bride and groom and whoever is paying for the wedding to decide which option is best for them.
Where do you stand in the cash bar versus open bar debate? Should a couple foot the entire bill for their guests’ drinks? Is one of these more acceptable where you live? How will you handle this when the choice must be made? Or perhaps you have been to a wedding recently and you have strong feelings about their choice of a cash bar or open bar. Tell us about it and help other couples make their decision!

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