Living Together before Marriage
Who doesn’t live together before they get married? I know one couple that did not live together first and they are divorced because they learned that they couldn’t stand being together so much! But is this a tradition that should resurface? There are definite pros and cons to each.
It has been widely studied that the divorce rate is much higher in couples that live together before marriage than couples that don’t. Why is this? Personally, I don’t know and neither does anyone else! There is something to be said about your new husband carrying you over the threshold into your new home together. It is the true beginning of a new life when you haven’t been doing it every day already.
But what about that one couple I know? They ended in divorce. Isn’t living together a good idea? You get the chance to learn even more about your future spouse while discovering if you are completely compatible. Maybe this is a pessimistic attitude, but not everyone can live on love alone. So, what happens if you get married, move in together and discover that your husband is a slob and expects a wife and a maid, or that he is addicted to late night porn on those pay channels? You would know all of this if you lived together first.
Every relationship is different and every couple is going to have a different experience together. That is what makes relationships so wonderful! It is about finding someone that you can be completely comfortable with and someone that you can love and live with for the rest of your life. Traditionally, the bride and groom were not allowed to live together prior to marriage. Some people still believe in this, especially those people that are also saving their virginity. But then must you also believe in “’til death do us part?” and stay in a marriage even if you discover that you are completely incompatible when it comes to living together?
What do you think? Are you already living with your fiancée? Are you planning on waiting until after the wedding to move in together? Why have you chosen this particular path? How do you feel about other couples that choose to live together or choose to wait? We want to know!
October 21st, 2007 at 4:14 pm
My parents and grandparents didn’t live together before they were married, but their engagements were very short, my has lasted for 6 1/2 years, so I’m proud to say we split the rent. Times are different now, cost of living is more expensive, and I believe you get to know each other before jumping in. You can decide if you can live with the bad habits or not. It’s a great expierence to share responsibility with some one your not leagally bound to, to grow into an adult, and if it works, then marriage is meant for you. I’ve found my one and only, I love his bad habits, I can’t wait to get married. My parents and grandparents can’t wait either.